Monday, February 27, 2006

Subtract my age from the mileage on my speeding heart

So, I turned 28 last week. In recent months, I've already started to notice little things that remind me I'm getting older.

-I used to be such a night owl but now, I need to go to bed early. For real, you don't want to be around me if I'm still awake at 11 pm because I'll be very crabby indeed. If you come by my apartment any time past 8pm, you're likely to find me in my pyjamas already. In general, my sleep schedule is way less flexible than it used to be. On weekends, it's no longer possible for me to sleep much later than the time I get up at on weekdays.

-Used to be that there was nothing more refreshing than chugging a big glass or bottle of icy cold water. Now, cold drinks give me intense stomach pain.

-Back in the day, I was a reasonably accomplished drinker. I even earned myself the Japanese nickname 'zaru' for my prowess ('zaru' means 'sieve'). Now I get buzzed from a single pint and even one glass of wine leaves me feeling quite poorly the next morning.

-My hair is thinner than it once was! This is most distressing.

-I did something funny to my right hip in a gym class a year ago and it still isn't normal! It clicks when I walk. Once you start having hip trouble, it's all downhill from there.

There are more things I could list but I just realized how un-fun this entry must be for you, readers. On the bright side, I still have the volatile skin and wide-eyed gaze of a teenager so I get carded any time I try to buy booze. Apparently, I don't look 28, but I do feel it.

Actually, I only feel 28 with respect to those physical complaints. Mentally, I feel like a hopeless baby. So many of my friends and peers are already married, have cars, have houses, have cash, have careers, have opportunities, have futures. I don't have any of those things. I live with pretty much the same lifestyle as an undergraduate student. Yes, I have a boyfriend but who knows what will become of that. Yes, I have a job but it's not on a career track with any chance for promotion or variety. And also, because I have the cursed fortune to care very much about an industry that is not profitable, I have to accept the fact that I will probably never own a car or a home in my lifetime. I'm surviving paycheque to paycheque now and that's while I'm living in a tiny pest-infested walk-up. Okay, yes, I have intangible things like my health, my educated mind and zero debt. But really, my life in general is pretty unsatisfying and I feel powerless to change it. Happy birthday to me.

2 comments :

Your OLD cousin John said...

Remember...money/material possesions do not equal happiness. It's easy to 'want' what the next guy has but it takes great strength to now what you 'need'. Keeping up with the Jones' is the worst path to happiness.
1.you work in a field that interests you
2.You've been to 3 other continents
3.You don't live in Waterloo anymore
4.You have this website
5.You have multiple degrees
6.Vince is a dude!

I could go on but if I did I'd just be comparing myself to you and I would probably get depressed.
HAPPY BELATED BIRTHDAY!!!
STAND STRONG IN YOUR INDIVIDUALITY!!!!
Signed,

Hikaru said...

otanjoubi omedeto~su.

material possessions do not make one older or younger.

you have a career. it just happens to not be high on financial rewards, but i'm sure you wouldn't be doing it if you didn't benefit from it.

if you aren't satisfied where you are now, what will make you satisfied, and what road will take you there...? the road itself may be more important than the destination.

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